My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
