R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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