Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize