Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
