Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
