Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
