a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize