Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize