Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
