i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
