Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
