I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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