I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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