I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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