I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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