Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
oh god the rape fog is back!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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