He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
