Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
God, I missed his penis.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
