dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize