I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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