Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Your dad touched me again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
