drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
