Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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