No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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