I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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