Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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