dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
