I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
