His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
