dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
