he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
