Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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