I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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