thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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