sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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