I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
