what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it was like eating out sand paper
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
