I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
