i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
