This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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