I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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