Cold hands, warm shart.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
