dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
