it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
