We're facebook friends in real life
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
