1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
