There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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