The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
