oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
