I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
