I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it because I queefed?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
