Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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