On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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