she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
