she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
