everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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