Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize