You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she told me i tasted like america
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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