my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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