ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Send help, water and tortillas.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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