u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I would ride that face into the sunset
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
