Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize